Woodstock Athletics Member Interview
❓What’s your name and how old are you? My name is Sam Hanske and I’m 33 years old.
❓Ever had a cool nickname? In high school, I was just Hanske. And then a friend called me Hankie one time when he was really drunk and that stuck. And then Spooky Hankie became a nickname, too. I was spooky, I guess. I was a spooky 20-year-old. Oh, and also, I get Big Red sometimes, because of my hair. And BOG. Big Ol’ Ginger.
❓Married? Kids? I am married, been married for a year. Married after 10 years of dating. No kids.
❓Does your wife come to the gym? No, she does spin classes. HIIT classes. I brought her here once and she said ‘never again.’ She came on my birthday workout, so maybe that was the problem.
❓Where did you grow up and what’s your opinion of the place? I grew up in Seattle, I love Seattle, I love being close to Seattle. Portland is probably the only other place I’d live.
❓How did you end up down here? My wife’s from Portland, and we were able to buy a house down here, but not up there. We live in Richmond. Like 49th and Woodward. She’s got tons of family around there, and I’ve got extended family down here, too.
❓What’s your all-time favorite movie? I’ve gotta go with the old Jason and the Argonauts movie, which I grew up watching as a kid. My mom and dad always had it on, so I watched it all the time. I can quote that movie front to back. It’s got the old-time special effects. It’s got the hydra and the skeletons. That’s my jam.
❓What do you do for a living? I’m an anti-financial crime analyst for a payments company. I do anti-money laundering and counter-terrorist financing. It’s a private company, but we report everything to the government. I’m a professional snitch.
❓Who’s the most famous person you’ve caught stealing? I can’t say. I’m legally not allowed to say.
❓Well, how much money did they steal? (laughs) Again, I can’t say. But I’ll just say there’s a lot of people using private money movement services for nefarious things. So it feels genuinely altruistic, in a sense.
❓Any cool jobs in your past? For a long time, I did a little bit of everything. I worked as a bike courier. I worked on bikes. I built carbon fiber bike wheels. I’m not a massive bike person, but somehow I’ve ended up doing a lot of bike stuff. I also worked for a snowboarding company, but I don’t snowboard. I guess the weirdest job I’ve had was as a process server. I served people subpoenas and stuff like that. I literally discovered what ‘don’t shoot the messenger’ means.
❓Did you ever wear a costume, so you could fool them into taking the subpoena? I never wore a costume, but I did always have to be secretly recording, to prove that I actually served them. There was this whole cat-and-mouse game. If they don’t sign, saying they received it, it’s a problem. There’s a bunch of weird legal things to that job, and I was thrown into it with like no training. I had to figure it out as I went, and I was like 19. Yeah, that’s the weirdest job I’ve ever had.
❓How long have you been a member at the gym? I joined in August 2022. I broke my leg in 2021 and got out of shape because of that. I did a triathlon, kind of commemorating my recovery. After that, I thought I should probably start actually working out. I literally just googled ‘gyms nearby’ and this was the first gym that came up. I showed up, did a Steph workout, and died. But the atmosphere was wonderful and the people were nice and Steph was great. It was like one-and-done. I didn’t need to go anywhere else.
❓Tell us about your all-time favorite pet. We just got a dog in April. Her name is Melon. I had mostly cats growing up, so she’s my first dog, and she’s quickly jumped into first place. But, of course, my childhood cat Peeka was wonderful. She was great. She was like a human, but in cat form. Just so much personality. She may still be my favorite. Melon’s kind of stealing my heart a little, though. We’ll see who ends up in first place. Check back later.
❓What class or classes do you usually attend? I’m a pretty consistent 4:30 attendee, but I’m trying to make 1:30 a thing to beat the heat during the summer.
❓Pancakes, waffles, or french toast? Gotta go waffles. I’m a big waffle guy.
❓French fries, tater tots, or mashed potatoes? I’m gonna go french fries.
❓Toast, bagels, or english muffins? You can’t beat a bagel with schmear. Can’t beat it. That’s my frickin’ jam.
❓Where in Portland has the best burger? Ooh, great question. I’m gonna have to go with Burger Stevens. It’s killer. It’s just a food cart and the burger is rock-solid. I’m also a fan of Super Deluxe. It’s on the way home from the gym for me, so that’s dangerous.
❓What’s your favorite workout/movement? I like any of the Olympic lifts. Snatch. Clean and jerk. Big fan of the rower, too.
❓What’s your least favorite workout/movement? I know everyone says thrusters, but I’m trying to make friends with thrusters. I actually hate wall balls, which is why I forced myself to get a heavier ball, so it gets easier in the long run. I’m just trying to lean into that, get stronger at it, so it’s not as bad.
❓What are some things you do in your free time? I coach high school lacrosse at Grant. I raft. I hike. I paint miniature figurines, as sort of an art hobby.
❓Little figurines? Like from Dungeons and Dragons? Exactly. I play D&D once a week. Been playing with the same group for like a year and a half now, so it’s a lot of fun.
❓What’s your current D&D character? A barbarian named Ford Taurus. He’s a gentle barbarian.
❓If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Definitely not flight. I know a lot of people have said flight. I think teleportation. Just being able to go anywhere quick, no jet lag involved.
❓What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? Lutefisk. I grew up in Ballard, Washington, there’s a big Norwegian community there. Every year for Norwegian Independence Day, they do a big festival and there’s always lutefisk. It’s like fish that’s been soaked in lye. It’s gellified. It’s not poisonous, but it’s disgusting. I spat it out. It was a quick no. I spat it out and left in shame.
❓What’s your current gym goal? I’d like to be able to clean 300 pounds. My last one-rep was 270. I haven’t really been consistent lately, so maybe my real goal is just to be consistent and stay healthy. The numbers will come with that.
❓What’s your advice for new members of the gym? Like I said, be consistent. Show up more than once a week. Make it a point to walk through the door, because honestly, that’s the hardest part. Show up. Move. Give it your all. Really, that’s it.
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